The Cold Room & Echo Walls

It’s hard to think about but it’s my story..

The third day of stent pain and the day of its removal.

After trying to send me home for the past 2 days

The migraine had crippled me, and the pain roared.

They wheeled me into this cold room.

Drs, nurses, and others around you.

My eyes start scanning the room looking at who is present, what they are doing, whilst trying to stay calm.

I remember telling my Dr that I’m anxious, I’m scared,  and I would really prefer to be asleep.

With a caring voice in one ear saying, “it’ll all be OK, you’ll just feel some movement as the Dr will put local anesthetic in you, it may feel cold.”

I remember them starting, a shot of liquid straight up in my lady parts..

The tears fell from my eyes, one ear the nurse tells them my canula is blocked, whilst the other is telling me to spread my legs.

My brain feels absent as I am struggling to comprehend what the nurse is telling me.

I’m disoriented and had to ask her to repeat herself because I wasn’t understanding…

Me, “Sorry what did you say?!”
As I scream from the pain. To what feels like eternity, and the walls echo my voice.

“Darling, you’re doing well, just breathe, he is done!”

To my dispair, “No I’m not, I’ve only just got the camera in.”

My head gets dizzy, everything becomes a blur.

The white walls feel closer and the nurses voices become distant and my soul feels like it’s been resurrected out my beaten flower pouch… FFS..

The out of the body euphoria feels like you’re untouchable, as you feel so out of it from pain.

Yet within moments, your soul comes tearing through your body like your falling from the 84th story to the ground, to which your lungs explode from the impact.

All you feel is the echoes rebounding the walls and your body lifts off the bed..

All I wanted to do was kick him in the head.

The traumatic removal of my stent, was one that I’ll never forget.

I sign off with a battered soul, by cold rooms and echo walls.

It’s hard to think about,
I’m Barely Jade

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